12.28.08
Posted in Uncategorized at 3:18 pm by admin
Abundance
To have enough. To feel like you have enough.
As people of many traditions revel in all kinds of new acquisitions of gifts this time of year, I was reminded about my intense belief in abundance as some kind of proactive verb. Abundance, once Hanan stumbled into my life, became an almost obsession that I defined as having all that I want, when I wanted it and how I wanted it. Experience, however, taught me otherwise.
In chagrined retrospect, my definition of abundance was the spiritual equivalent of having a three-year old (or 6 year old, or of course some form of teenager) in all their demanding and impatient and self-centered glory. Granted I don’t usually throw fits or tantrums, but you get the idea. The results were predictable: I planned and God (the Universe, the All, etc.) laughed! Sometimes it was actually funny. Other times my actions in the name of abundance hurt others. And there those were times where I suffered. Eventually I had to realize that I did not know what was going on – and that predicting the future was out of the question.
Now ultimately my goal is to move through this lifetime with as much ease as possible, or as some would say, with as much “flow” as possible. And even with this all-things-are-possible approach to abundance, there was much ease and flow to be had. It’s just that the cost of the process was never anticipated: not really sleeping for two years, having a divorce and the housing crises coincide leaving me stripped of any personal financial resources, being forced to move 5 times and still maintaining the day job, etc. Ah – that which we cannot control keeping us clear on that fact in a myriad of ways.
This week, some new Hindu friends came over for dinner and the one – who it turns out has quite a bit of knowledge of Eastern religions and Sufism in India and Pakistan in particular – really wanted to see Hanan Says: and read some of it. I went upstairs to pick of a copy from my “to sell” pile and right away instinctively knew that I would be giving the couple a signed copy of the book, so I also grabbed a pen. After some additional reading and chatting about some of the poems therein, I told them I was giving it to them, signed it accordingly and passed it on.
Immediately they both said, almost in unison, “But we have nothing to give you!”. I replied, “I am giving you this book to give it to you for your enjoyment and nothing more. I do not expect anything in return – it is a gift to you.” I think they accepted my offer secure in the knowledge that my expectations of them were nothing. A simple exchange in which I felt abundant enough to let go of that additional money that might be made by actually selling the book.
Yet here, in the midst of this global, national, state and regional economic crisis, I am still out there proverbial resume in hand, exploring new jobs that might be “better” in terms of pay and that would still fit in with our family’s quality of life goals. It is funny, one of Hanan’s works has the line that we should be careful what we wish for (he is neither the first nor last person to make that statement, clearly) as we dance around with the Universe. I realized that I was wishing for “more”, simply because I feel it is earned and because I have not been feeling like I have enough for myself and my family…even though I actually do.
When I lived on he border of Haiti in a desert undergoing a 16 month drought with no water and electricity (for those that are guessing, yes the Peace Corps and yes, Dominican Republic) I lived on essentially the same meals (rice and beans) twice a day or sometimes three times a day. I had it good. After the Haitian coup in 1991 I and a friend went across the border to explore that side of la zona fronteriza (the border zone) in Haiti. We had no clue what to expect. But here is what we found:
Poverty like with which we had neither lived in the DR nor otherwise experienced. A decimated environment that made my desert look like a thinning but still-functioning forest. People who were in the process of carrying meager goods and water on their heads from place to place. I will be attaching a photo soon to share that sense of things. In fact, in every picture we took there, these dirt-poor people were smiling. Their smiles beamed so strongly that they penetrate my heart even as I review the photos in the present. The smiled all of the time. Their smiling was contagious and as we used our modest Haitian Creole to communicate with them I realized that they had found the secret and it was neither verbal, nor scientific, nor material. They had found a way to feel like they had enough. Even though by most any standard, they did not actually have enough.
Yet abundance was theirs. They had abundance in abundance!
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12.21.08
Posted in Word of the Week: at 8:31 pm by admin
Packing (& Unpacking)
Filling up, adding on, placing in. (Taking out, letting go, emptying.)
This time of year there is a lot of packing going on. There is the packing of gifts for various spiritual and cultural (and in some respects, now, consumer) holidays. There is the packing that people do when put their things together as they travel to visit friends, family and loved ones to share in these holidays. As the light wanes and the days grow shortest around the winter Solstice, we tend to turn inwards both in our households and ourselves, in a sense “packing” or nesting as things move towards hibernation. Then there is the packing of memories of all kinds, histories, biases, thoughts and feelings that both surround and often serve as an undercurrent to this time of year.
Not unlike the literal or figurative Santa with his sleigh happily burdened by a bounty of presents for all of the worlds “nice” children on his list, we often carry a good deal of “stuff” with us in our annual march (or slide? Or free-fall?) to and through the winter festivities.
How many of us spend so much time focused on creating an experience that is just the way we want it that we end up stressing out and not enjoying the experiences that come as they actually are. We bring our packed histories and memories (all valid, at least as we perceived them) to the holiday table and as a result we lessen our chances at real connection and intimacy with those with whom we sit. This is not to say we all must be or behave saintly 24-7 or feel great about being teased for our choice of facial hair style, dietary approach or some silly thing we did in the 4th grade.
However, by working on letting go, forgiving ourselves and others of past grievances and taking a more palms-up approach to the season we can actually do some unpacking of our spirits, and not just our gifts. This makes this hectic and often chaotic time of the year more about our presence than our presents. Unpacking our minds and hearts creates space and frees up energy. And we can do a lot with more of those two, no? Even if all we do is use the space and energy to relax a bit, maelstrom of activity around us to the contrary.
Take a moment to just breathe. Close your eyes and breathe again.
Smile – you just unpacked your spirit! (Even a little bit.) As we create more space and peace in ourselves, we foster that peace in our families, communities, nation and world. Choose to focus on living in that moment that is right now, that one! Practice won’t make perfect by any means, but it is helpful. Some people jog or sing or even sit quietly with their coffee. How we are present is not nearly as important to our well-being as the fact that we actually are present, as best as we can be.
Clearly, it won’t always be the case. Today was an example of experiencing a glorious and otherwise just wonderful day by any measure and then allowing myself to get sucked into trying to control the outcomes of the Universe, even with things most mundane. Staying true to theme and to use a common sporting phrase, there is “packing it in” and this is what my beloved Eagles did during their game this afternoon when a win would give them a chance for the playoffs. The team (well, especially the offense) came out entirely flat and lost a game they (in my biased and attached view of football) really could have won. And yes, I was focused on the outcome: I wanted a win by any margin and frankly did not find a lot of enjoyment in watching the game. I did not have much fun and could have instead been writing, singing more carols, calling friends or playing more with my stepdaughter. That was time I can’t take back.
Yet I would be a fool to dwell on it. In fact, the rather uninspiring game and my melancholy over it and its result helped birth the content of this weeks topic.
The topic itself, though, comes from my even more beloved wife. She said, as we are under two weeks away from a move to a house we are grateful to be able to live in, that “there is much packing to be done”. And she is correct. We will be bringing many things (items, energy, memory, emotions) into our new home. Yet we will be letting go of many as we unpack. We do this not only to help others with material needs in the case of giving away possessions. We do this so that our new home and the three of us that inhabit it will come together with room to grow and evolve, living life as it comes in each moment, mystery and all.
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12.14.08
Posted in Word of the Week: at 12:26 pm by admin
Palms-Up
Placing the hands outwards with palms facing upwards.
The idea of holding ones palms up is not uncommon in many spiritual traditions, Eastern and Western. Often in supplication to the “higher power” or Universal Mind, or as a symbol of letting go into either a spiritual or emotional experience, there is something to be said about applying this simple position on a daily basis. I like to weave it as a practice into the fabric of my broader personal and familial culture. For me, “palms-up” is both an energetic and attitudinal asana (pose/posture), and also actual phrase spoken and unspoken as I walk through my day and face the many mundane and exceptional choice-points (phrase for another week – PFAW) that pop up.
Ultimately it is about being attachted to or wanting some outcome (experience, feeling, object, person, etc.) and instead of holding onto that result tightly with closed fists, we open our hands to provide a landing space for the Universe to descend upon in ways we likely can’t anticipate and with abundance (PFAW) we have not imagined.
If you, for example, held a pen (one that you really want or don’t want to lose) in your hand and held it with a closed fist – facing any direction but upwards - you have to apply a lot of effort (which = stress) to keep that pen in place. As soon as you open your hand to lessen that stress the pen will fall out and away from you, at least on Earth where gravity is a fact of life!
On the other hand (as it were) imagine holding that pen with and open palm. It just sits there, without any effort on your part. You still have the pen, but do not have to do anything but provide a place for it to be.
When I recently married, my beloved and I held each others hands by placing them in our open palms as a way of receiving each other fully, in all our our glorious and imperfect beings. And we were also saying, in a way, to the Universe: “We are ready for your blessings, both known and unknown, we are together for this leap in to the mysteries that will unfold and by these open palms, we make space for that and more.”
Palm’s-Up – A simple saying or position that can save stress and increase abundance.
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12.10.08
Posted in Self-Post at 9:59 pm by admin
Facebook:
Total randomness at your fingertips
Connecting dots from all angles into shaped yet determined
Touching and being touched
And not -
Simultaneously
Yep. Set up the Facebook page. Yikes!
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Posted in Hanan Says: at 10:06 am by admin
Hanan says:
Be careful what
You wish for…
God is already twirling around and
Through us as she
Dances her formless
All in and out
Of our sight, smell,
Taste and touch
Laughing a trail of planets and galaxies,
Rainbows and amoeba
In her wake.
Wishing only gives her
Incentive
To come up with
A more confounding riddle
To the answer we already know.
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12.09.08
Posted in Self-Post at 7:07 pm by admin
The fabulous, fun and at times frustrating self-publishing site, lulu.com has been the vehicle to successfully publish and share Hanan Says: and after several iterations, the book is available for purhcase in softcover and as a download. Please feel free to browse it at www.lulu.com/content/4999653
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