12.21.08
Word (Phrase) of the Week 12/21/08
Packing (& Unpacking)
Filling up, adding on, placing in. (Taking out, letting go, emptying.)
This time of year there is a lot of packing going on. There is the packing of gifts for various spiritual and cultural (and in some respects, now, consumer) holidays. There is the packing that people do when put their things together as they travel to visit friends, family and loved ones to share in these holidays. As the light wanes and the days grow shortest around the winter Solstice, we tend to turn inwards both in our households and ourselves, in a sense “packing” or nesting as things move towards hibernation. Then there is the packing of memories of all kinds, histories, biases, thoughts and feelings that both surround and often serve as an undercurrent to this time of year.
Not unlike the literal or figurative Santa with his sleigh happily burdened by a bounty of presents for all of the worlds “nice” children on his list, we often carry a good deal of “stuff” with us in our annual march (or slide? Or free-fall?) to and through the winter festivities.
How many of us spend so much time focused on creating an experience that is just the way we want it that we end up stressing out and not enjoying the experiences that come as they actually are. We bring our packed histories and memories (all valid, at least as we perceived them) to the holiday table and as a result we lessen our chances at real connection and intimacy with those with whom we sit. This is not to say we all must be or behave saintly 24-7 or feel great about being teased for our choice of facial hair style, dietary approach or some silly thing we did in the 4th grade.
However, by working on letting go, forgiving ourselves and others of past grievances and taking a more palms-up approach to the season we can actually do some unpacking of our spirits, and not just our gifts. This makes this hectic and often chaotic time of the year more about our presence than our presents. Unpacking our minds and hearts creates space and frees up energy. And we can do a lot with more of those two, no? Even if all we do is use the space and energy to relax a bit, maelstrom of activity around us to the contrary.
Take a moment to just breathe. Close your eyes and breathe again.
Smile – you just unpacked your spirit! (Even a little bit.) As we create more space and peace in ourselves, we foster that peace in our families, communities, nation and world. Choose to focus on living in that moment that is right now, that one! Practice won’t make perfect by any means, but it is helpful. Some people jog or sing or even sit quietly with their coffee. How we are present is not nearly as important to our well-being as the fact that we actually are present, as best as we can be.
Clearly, it won’t always be the case. Today was an example of experiencing a glorious and otherwise just wonderful day by any measure and then allowing myself to get sucked into trying to control the outcomes of the Universe, even with things most mundane. Staying true to theme and to use a common sporting phrase, there is “packing it in” and this is what my beloved Eagles did during their game this afternoon when a win would give them a chance for the playoffs. The team (well, especially the offense) came out entirely flat and lost a game they (in my biased and attached view of football) really could have won. And yes, I was focused on the outcome: I wanted a win by any margin and frankly did not find a lot of enjoyment in watching the game. I did not have much fun and could have instead been writing, singing more carols, calling friends or playing more with my stepdaughter. That was time I can’t take back.
Yet I would be a fool to dwell on it. In fact, the rather uninspiring game and my melancholy over it and its result helped birth the content of this weeks topic.
The topic itself, though, comes from my even more beloved wife. She said, as we are under two weeks away from a move to a house we are grateful to be able to live in, that “there is much packing to be done”. And she is correct. We will be bringing many things (items, energy, memory, emotions) into our new home. Yet we will be letting go of many as we unpack. We do this not only to help others with material needs in the case of giving away possessions. We do this so that our new home and the three of us that inhabit it will come together with room to grow and evolve, living life as it comes in each moment, mystery and all.